What Is Patience — and How Do You Get It?

Patience is more than waiting.

In the Bible, patience is the steady strength to endure delay, difficulty, or frustration without giving way to anger, despair, or impulsive action. It is the ability to remain faithful and loving when circumstances — or people — test you.

The apostle Paul lists patience as part of the fruit of the Spirit in his letter to the church in Galatia.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Galatians 5:22–23

The Greek word he uses (makrothymia) literally means “long-tempered” — the opposite of short-tempered. It describes someone who absorbs irritation without exploding. The apostle Peter connects patience to enduring hardship while trusting God (see 1 Peter 2:20). For Peter, patience reflects Christ Himself — steady, faithful, and restrained even under suffering.

In short, from a biblical perspective, patience is:

• Endurance under pressure
• Self-control in provocation
• Trust in God’s timing
• Love stretched over time

But patience is hard because we

• Want control
• Want comfort now
• Want others to change immediately
• Want God to operate on our schedule

Impatience says, “This shouldn’t be happening.” Patience says, “God is still at work.”

So, how do you get patience?

The surprising truth: you don’t manufacture patience. You cultivate it. Since patience is a fruit of the Spirit, it grows as your life is rooted in the Spirit.

1. Ask God for It: Patience is not weakness to request — it’s humility. Pray specifically for a long temper, especially in your most testing relationships.

2. Slow Your Reactions: Patience often grows in the pause.

When irritated:

• Wait before responding.
• Breathe.
• Ask, “What would love do here?”

A five-second pause can prevent five years of damage.

3. Accept That Growth Takes Time: Ironically, patience develops slowly. God often uses:

• Traffic
• Toddlers
• Difficult coworkers
• Chronic trials
• Long seasons of waiting

The very things you wish would disappear are often the training ground. As James writes in James 1:3–4, trials produce perseverance, and perseverance shapes maturity.

4. Remember How Patient God Is With You: Nothing fuels patience toward others like remembering God’s patience toward you. Scripture repeatedly describes God as “slow to anger.” If He deals with us gently, how can we not extend that same grace?

5. Practice Long-Term Thinking: Patience grows when you live with eternity in view. Not every wrong must be corrected today. Not every tension must be resolved instantly. Not every prayer must be answered immediately. Trust matures patience.

What changes when you grow in patience?

• You argue less.
• You listen more.
• Your family feels safer around you.
• Your workplace becomes steadier.
• You make wiser decisions.
• Your faith deepens.

Patience doesn’t make life slower — it makes life wiser. You don’t wake up one day suddenly patient.

Patience grows quietly as:

• You surrender control.
• You trust God’s timing.
• You choose love over reaction.
• You endure without bitterness.

Remember, patience is strength under control, it is love stretched over time, it is faith breathing slowly.

And the good news? If you belong to Christ, the seed is already planted. If you want to be filled with God’s spirit that yields fruit like patience, foregiveness and love, we encourage you to read our post:  How Can I Become a Christian?

If you would like to learn more about the Fruit of the Holy Spirit, order our booklet Reflections and Gifts and Fruit of the Holy Spirit at LivingDialog.org.